Day 45
I keep trying to celebrate the little things but honestly, time is starting to lose all meaning in terms of what day it is. Sunday I keep because we still attend Mass via YouTube Live (or Facebook Live), but other than that time blends. I go grocery shopping when I have to not on a set schedule, my laundry is done essentially on the same schedule but it is not enough to give meaning to the days.
I feel like I work all the time and I don't have much time off. I have seen and read a lot about working from home with kids and quite frankly they sound like they were written by people that don't have elementary age kids or have someone else to take care of them while you work. I laugh at them because honestly that is not how life works for me or my family and friends that I talk to. Those suggestions are fabulous in utopia and I think we can all recognize that we do not live in utopia now or ever.
I have two very active kids, 7 & 9 and they are responding to this situation in very different ways. Additionally, while they are somewhat independent I still need to supervise their school work to make sure they are doing it all, field any questions, and keep them on task, because they are 7 & 9! Those articles that suggest you have a separate space for your kids to work and you to work and that they respect that is so laughable that I think I would love to be in that alternate universe where that works even if just for a day or so.
This whole situation is so hard to deal with as an adult so for kids it is pretty amazingly difficult, they don't have the benefit of a brain that is fully developed. That is also a positive too, but mostly in this case a negative, they don't know how to express themselves and get help. That also makes it difficult for the parents because we are trying to navigate our own feelings which we can largely understand, but we have to deal with the actions of our children while trying to address their emotional state and help them through this wild and crazy thing. This is exhausting! This also means that boundaries are re-drawn and respecting that Mom, Dad, or both need to be left alone to focus, so those well meaning articles I mention you can all go take a long walk off a short pier, maybe the cold water will wake you up.
We as a family are very lucky, Mr. Padawan can work from home very well and his job seems fairly secure. My business is not as busy as I would like, however it does allow me to focus my time on the kids to help with school. That means that I do my work at the table with them but it takes me about 10 times longer to get it done, and I work on it in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and often on the weekends.
I feel like I work all the time and I don't have much time off. I have seen and read a lot about working from home with kids and quite frankly they sound like they were written by people that don't have elementary age kids or have someone else to take care of them while you work. I laugh at them because honestly that is not how life works for me or my family and friends that I talk to. Those suggestions are fabulous in utopia and I think we can all recognize that we do not live in utopia now or ever.
I have two very active kids, 7 & 9 and they are responding to this situation in very different ways. Additionally, while they are somewhat independent I still need to supervise their school work to make sure they are doing it all, field any questions, and keep them on task, because they are 7 & 9! Those articles that suggest you have a separate space for your kids to work and you to work and that they respect that is so laughable that I think I would love to be in that alternate universe where that works even if just for a day or so.
This whole situation is so hard to deal with as an adult so for kids it is pretty amazingly difficult, they don't have the benefit of a brain that is fully developed. That is also a positive too, but mostly in this case a negative, they don't know how to express themselves and get help. That also makes it difficult for the parents because we are trying to navigate our own feelings which we can largely understand, but we have to deal with the actions of our children while trying to address their emotional state and help them through this wild and crazy thing. This is exhausting! This also means that boundaries are re-drawn and respecting that Mom, Dad, or both need to be left alone to focus, so those well meaning articles I mention you can all go take a long walk off a short pier, maybe the cold water will wake you up.
We as a family are very lucky, Mr. Padawan can work from home very well and his job seems fairly secure. My business is not as busy as I would like, however it does allow me to focus my time on the kids to help with school. That means that I do my work at the table with them but it takes me about 10 times longer to get it done, and I work on it in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and often on the weekends.
THIS IS SO EXHAUSTING!
You know what else is exhausting? The goal posts keep moving. We began our sequester on Friday, March 13, 2020 (isn't that an inauspicious date) which was the first day the schools were close. It was going to be a temporary closure and the kids would go back on April 6th, which was a nice anniversary present to me and the Mr. Alas, that post was moved, now I had to look forward May 4th, Star Wars Day. Then that too was moved and to be honest, I don't know what the new endpoint is. I know that my children will finish the school year with the distance learning we have been doing for a few weeks now and that they are done with the school year on June 18th. But, I don't know when we will be going out to stores and visiting family, or when we can take family vacations.
Yes, I want to keep my family safe as well as others but I need to know what to look forward to. Not a nebulous 'going out' again but a date something that I can focus on and count down to with anticipation and relief.
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