PadawanOfHappiness

 I found this on Facebook and it really struck me as very easy to do and very timely. My grandmother once gave me a tip: In difficult times, you move forward in small steps. Do what you have to do, but little by little. Don't think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow. Wash the dishes. Remove the dust. Write a letter. Make a soup. You see? You are advancing step by step. Take a step and stop. Rest a little. Praise yourself. Take another step. Then another. You won't notice, but your steps will grow more and more. And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.   - Elena Mikhalkova    

So Halloween is just around the corner (16 days and counting) and my town's official stance is they are posting hours and it is up to individuals to determine if they want to participate.  So yep that is pretty standard since even pre-COVID it was up to individuals to decide if they wanted to participate. I was kind of bummed because I don't like Halloween, I don't like taking my kids out and I don't like handing out candy, so I was really hoping that the town could be my fall guy.  But no we are going to have make a grown up decision about what we are going to do, the HORRORS! (BTW that is sarcasm in case you didn't pick up on that).   My kids go to school and they wear masks, and quite frankly I am ok with that.  There are certainly extenuating circumstances that influenced our decision to just say no this year, even though I think it is perfectly fine to go out.  I don't feel that families that participate this year are doing anything wrong, and if it we...

Image by Blue Shutters Web Design. I have been toying a lot with Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood , specifically this one. Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy And one morning Mr. Padawan and I were talking about things that we should do because they make us feel better in the long term but really hate doing them, and it hit me that secret of adulthood applies here. So I know that I feel better when I exercise, and I don't feel better in the moment, in fact I feel pretty miserable.  But when I think about how I feel over a period of time I feel better, less stressed, less tired, happier, less likely to be snappy with my little Padawans or Mr. Padawan, I have more patient. I have tried a bunch of different exercises and I haven't found anything I love, but I have found things that I can tolerate.  But because I don't love exercise it is very easy for me to put it off (aka forget to do it) and just say oh I'll do it tomorrow.  And sure I feel good in ...

Music has the ability to greatly affect my mood, and I have specifically tuned out the radio, with the exception of one station that is new to me this year. I have tuned it out because I could not take the constant sound bites and conversations about all that was going on in the world, all the bickering, hysteria, and plain old meanness directed towards people because of their opinions, even if I disagreed with those opinions.  I needed to tune it out for my peace of mind and go to a few news sources to be informed but only on a strict basis, I would limit not only which sites I visited but the length of time I spent on them. Instead I developed a new appreciation for the vast and varied music collection that Mr. Padawan and I had amassed ( see here ).  So while I don't really have a good handle on any current Pop music I am ok with that, I have been introduced to other artists that have been around for a while I just never knew about them. That radio station that I found and ...

I saw a friend of mine post on Facebook looking for hacks to survive quarantine and the discussion was about how their kids put them to bed now.  How much was tongue in cheek I don't know but it got me thinking that overall I am doing better than I thought I would be. To be honest I think it has largely been due to the fact that for the most part I have embraced my nature and what works best for my family.  I am going I am going to share what works for my family maybe it will work well for yours or at least inspire you to make some changes that allow you to embrace your nature and how your family works. Schedules Oh I have always loved my schedules, and for once I tried to just let go of control and fly by the seat of my pants and schedules be damned.  I really did, I thought everyone seems to say just let go and enjoy the ride so why not.  Well the thing is that there was so much out of my control that letting go left me even further adrift.  Once I got back to...

Wow I looked back and my last post was pre Memorial Day!  So much has happened, good and bad.  My emotions and thoughts have been all over the place, I have had questions I don't dare ask because I am afraid of backlash from simply asking a question.  I have to believe that I am not the only one that has been in this position.  The question is what do I want to do about it? Some of my questions are admittedly more of a devil's advocate question and some are actual curiosity, but I don't see this time being accepting of either type of question.  But I have determined what I think is the right course for me, which may be different than what is right for someone else.  I am troubled by things that are going on in the world and specifically in the US, I feel that there are too many loud voices at the extreme; from both the 'Left' and the 'Right'.  They are prohibitively loud and drown out the voices that are looking for commonality to celebrate and use tha...

I have been continuing to surround myself with what I want and what I need.  I am feeling better with my faith but I know that I am still in the woods so I am still listening to K-Love on my walks and sometimes longer. I am still struggling but I know that with all the crap that I have gone through I know that God has been walking beside me and been my cheerleader pushing me forward when I don't think I can go on.  And I realized that I was breaking down and my steps were getting slower and I didn't think I would be able to walk forward anymore,  all of this was running through my head while I was mowing the lawn, which I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO, and then all of a sudden I saw an image in my mind that looked like this. Yes really like this, because this is the very similar to a print that I had growing up in my house.  And well it was what I needed, because I slowly realized I don't need to push and I can break because God has me and he will carry me forward until ...

For the most part I am fairly quiet about my faith, it is just part of me and I do what I feel fits my practice of faith.  I don't shout about it often and I certainly would not be classified as an a person that goes out to evangelize, that simply is not my speed. I am hardly a perfect person and nor is my practice of my faith perfect, it is nowhere near close to that at all.  I struggle sometimes a little and sometimes a lot.  I don't pray nearly as much as  I should and I find that my faith comes fairly easy when I am feeling good and secure.  Recently as I find myself more hopeful and confident that we will be able to resume 'normal' life I find myself filled with more anxiety and worry in general, I am not questioning my faith or God.  But I am allowing myself to be drawn into worries that I know I need to let go of but yet I need help to do so.  I find myself in these times doubling down on certain things to help me get a grip on reality and calm ...

I wanted to start this off with the BEST QUOTE EVER! “I spoke about this before, but let me be clear: We are not planning any shelter-in-place orders,” Baker stressed. “In times of crisis, it’s imperative that everyone get their news from legitimate places, and sometimes that’s not from your friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s neighbor.” -  Massachuesettes Governor Charlie Baker We are resilient and we will get through this, we may be a bit bruised emotionally, physically and financially but we will be stronger for it. There were a number of thoughts running through my head over the past few days and I am not sure where they will lead me but I am going to start to put them down to try and make sense of them. The meme goes something like this ...Our grandparents were called on to save the world in war and we are called to save the world by sitting on our couch. We are not really accustomed to being inconvenienced on a regular basis. We are reacting very emotiona...

After Friday night's mini meltdown and some discussion with my family, I feel like I was able to course correct pretty quickly yesterday.  I am not sure what the optimal alone time is for me but I am working on it.  I did get my 20 minutes in the morning and then in the afternoon, I did another 30 minute walk by myself and then did some coloring in the kitchen alone.  Sure the other 3 Padawans were in the other room watching a movie and I could hear both them and the movie but it seemed to work for me. I am feeling better about today and optimistic again.  I really do credit Gretchen's books for helping me see that only I can make myself happy and the importance of taking care of myself.  I still need to put that oxygen mask on first in order to help others.  I am proud of myself for recognizing the signs of a melt down earlier than I would have previously so that my so call melt down was just binge watching shows that I know Mr. Padawan hates so that I ...

I knew it would come eventually, I was optimistic based on the week that we have had that it would take longer than this to actually come.  That sense of being trapped. I cannot say this enough that my family has been great and I really could not ask for more we are all doing our best given the circumstances.  But here is the situation I am an introvert, I am used to working from home by myself, which means that I am used to being alone for roughly 7 hours a day Monday through Friday.  Now I have Mr. Padawan and 2 little Padawans with me ALL DAY LONG.  Ok, I do get a 20-minute walk for my #Walk20in20, most days but sometimes one or both little Padawans go with me.  Also one of my Padawans is a toucher and when he is anxious he gets even more touchy it brings him comfort, but it drives me nuts, I don't really like touch and most definitely not when I am stressed like now. But based on last night's dream and the thoughts in my head today, I know that I did a ...

So here is the deal, yesterday was mostly good but it had a few bumps in the road.  Basically, we started with a plan and a loose schedule, I didn't want to get too ridged because I thought that would backfire on us, but I didn't want it open ended because that would definitely backfire.  One of the biggest things we needed to work out was actually between Mr. Padawan and me because we are the adults here and while this situation is tough we are slightly better equipped to deal with the situation. The end result was that we agreed that because Mr. Padawan's work is more time-sensitive and he is the money winner in the family he needed to focus on work.  To help both him and the kids he needs to be in the office (potentially with the door closed all the time) so that it helps the kids understand that Dad is busy and he cannot play with them despite the fact that he wants to.  This also helps him because it will limit the interruptions, they are used to seeing him a...