PadawanOfHappiness

  Over the past summer I kept saying I would get back into my exercise routine because I had been slacking.  Sure I had kept up with my 20 minute walks but that was it, however for weigh loss I need to do more:  I need to do more exercise and more watching what I eat. The thing is I wasn't ready to get there, and therefore I kept putting it off.  I had not hit my metaphorical bottom, until now. I finally stepped on the scale after putting my jeans on and noticing that the legs for my jeans were tighter than I expected them to be.  I had regressed.  That is not a huge deal it was only a few pounds but it was enough for me to say it was time to get my act together again. I went back to things that worked for me in the past to see if they would work again. It has been two days and yes so far it seems to be working.  I have gotten up and exercised before breakfast, I am starting slow only 20-ish minutes but I have to start somewhere. I have also made sure ...

 Today Mr. Padawan did me a solid and I had to bite my tongue so I didn't complain (much). I tossed in a load of towels this morning and then went to my Zoom meeting figuring I would hang the towels out when I got lunch.  I got out of my meeting and went to get the towels out of the washing machine when I noticed that Mr. Padawan was on the deck, hanging the towels!   My immediate reaction was, 'awe that is so sweet', and so I went out to thank him and then I saw it.  He hung them out differently than I do!   The horror!   Now my reaction (in my head only) was, 'OMG he is doing it wrong!  Why would he do this?  Doesn't he know that isn't how you hang out the towels?  Was he raised by a heathen?" For the record he was not raised by a heathen, my Mother In Law is very nice and delightful, and we can hang out without her son or my children present.  But I don't think he grew up with hanging laundry on the line to dry either. ...

Saturday night I made my first attempt at making a mask for when I have to venture out to the grocery store, and it was easier than I thought.  I made a second one on Sunday that looks better than the first and will be the one I use for the next grocery shopping run I have to do. We also had a driveway party on Sunday, my in-laws needed to get out for a bit so they drove over and parked at the end of the driveway and got out and we stayed at the other end of our driveway.  We were social distance but it was a nice way to get some people interaction, and yes even introverts like me need people interaction, we just need our alone time too.  On Sunday I noticed our neighbors were doing their own driveway party as well, I would guess that as the weather gets nicer this may be more of a thing, at least here in the suburbs where we have a smaller population density than a city does.  It makes me glad that I don't live in a city, I would imagine that I would be climbing ...

In case anyone was wondering I am no longer mad, I wasn't even really mad yesterday but I forgot to post anything.  But things worked out pretty much as I expected, I vented my frustrations and acknowledged that I was mad and it helped me release it.  The reality is that holding it was hurting me and venting it while not allowing me to change anything in the past, and probably not really affecting things in the future, it did change me and that was the most important thing. For me I find that the more I take a few minutes (or a day) to just be mad and understand why I am mad helps me work it out of my system.  I embrace it and pretty much let the fire of mad run its course and burn out.  Sometimes I blog about it and other times I will use music therapy and listen to an album that I define to be angry and by the end of the album my fire has pretty much extinguished itself.  My go to album for years has been Jagged Little Pill but there are others that work a...

Since coming home from vacation and the start of the year, I refocused myself on my goals of losing weight and being healthier.  I did start exercising on a regular basis again, and while I am not yet counting calories again I have been working on portion size again. I have seen the results and my weight is back to where it was in mid-November.  And I just took a look at the numbers and between mid-November and the end of December my fluctuation was only 5 pounds, that is nothing to sneeze at and completely falls into the normal fluctuations of life.  Yes, I have to write this out to help me internalize and accept this, but I can do that.  Some may not see it as a reason to celebrate but I do because this was a very huge win for me.  It is helping me see that I can do this, and while I wasn't vigilant the habits that I had worked hard to establish were taking hold and I was basically in a holding pattern for a month and a half, and that is not a bad place to ...

I was cleaning out some notes on my phone and I found one that made me stop and realize how far my journey in 2019 has brought me.  I had just celebrated some achievements my son has mad and I need to celebrate mine too.  So here it is. In January 2019 my PCP had me see a cardiologist because my blood pressure (BP) was out of control.  He put me on a third medication and gave me a target range for my BP and said he would check in with me in 3 months.  I remember being fearful but determined.  The goal he gave me still seemed high but I wrote it down so I could remember it.  Here is what I wrote out. Seeing this note I realized two things: I need to take my BP more consistently.  I fell off the wagon At that 3 month check-in I was well below that. And I have continued to do amazing work.  I am not convinced it is all due to the medicine I think it was multiple things.  Since January I have worked to reduce my stress ...