So footprints....

I have been continuing to surround myself with what I want and what I need.  I am feeling better with my faith but I know that I am still in the woods so I am still listening to K-Love on my walks and sometimes longer.

I am still struggling but I know that with all the crap that I have gone through I know that God has been walking beside me and been my cheerleader pushing me forward when I don't think I can go on.  And I realized that I was breaking down and my steps were getting slower and I didn't think I would be able to walk forward anymore,  all of this was running through my head while I was mowing the lawn, which I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO, and then all of a sudden I saw an image in my mind that looked like this.



Yes really like this, because this is the very similar to a print that I had growing up in my house.  And well it was what I needed, because I slowly realized I don't need to push and I can break because God has me and he will carry me forward until I can walk again.

   
The Lord did not promise all sunshine, roses, candy, and ice cream; he promised to not leave us.  Right now this sucks and I am not a huge fan of it but I will get through it because I have already come so far, and I know that I will not be left here, if I cannot make it out on my own I will be carried out by God. 

    


Fortunately for me, this image hit me early in my time mowing the lawn so that I was able to just meditate on that and use the time to count my blessings and have some serious alone time.   I did not time myself but in previous years it took about 1.5 -2 hours to mow, and rather than focus on how much I didn't want to do it, I focused on the fact that I have this awesome yard I do have to mow. I  focused on the gifts of God, and the gift of alone time.  I also came to realize another truth that should have been obvious to me but it was not.

We all pray in different ways.  For some that are close to me, they pray by reading their missal daily, or they pray by reading the bible, they say the rosary, or just silently say what they need to.  I am one that mostly prays via a silent prayer and create mental mantras that I re-iterated in my head to help me remain focused.  But the truth is that without realizing it, the act of me making the decision to listen to K-Love on my walks (and more...I listened to them while I was mowing and now as I type this) that is my way of praying.  When I need the most help I pray the most by surrounding myself with prayerful music, to remind me of the amazing gifts that I already have and that I am not alone, and that no matter what I will get through it, whatever 'it' happens to be.






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