Different chapters

I have been pondering the different chapters of my life.  What I wanted when I was a teen is different than what I wanted in my 20s and so on.  I am very happy that what I wanted and pursued then worked for me then and I have very few regrets, however I don't want relive those years nor do I want those things now.


To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
    Source: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

So why is it so hard for me right now?  I have this pull to change my direction however societal pressures are pulling me in a different direction.  The question is not new and not one limited to me: 

What is my place in this world?  Where should I be, what should I be doing?

It is quite the tug of war taking place in my mind and heart and it takes a toll on me and those around me.  So in the moment all I can do is pray, talk to Mr. Padawan, and be honest about what I want.  Open my mind and heart to the possibility that I need to ignore societal expectations and trust that I am not alone and I am not setting anyone back.

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