Anxiety The Weight Loss Plan - DO NOT RECOMMEND

I got myself back on the bandwagon because my jeans were tight, uncomfortably tight and I hate clothes shopping so the thought of shopping and for a larger size too gave me some serious motivation.

Sadly, just as I made that decision to start using my Noom App again and add in more than my daily walk into my exercise program I got walloped with an anxiety attack for multiple days. I did a lot of praying, music therapy, positive self talk, cheer leading from Mr. Padawan, and focusing on what was good in my life and what I could control. 

When I am nervous I eat, however when I am anxious I don't.  Apparently I do burn calories like crazy.  Sure I dropped quite a few pounds very quickly and if I went by the scale alone I would be ecstatic.  The rapid heart beat and always feeling like something was missing, and the tension building in my shoulders due to the anxiety, all made me feel HORRIBLE.

Not only was the rapid weight loss not healthy, it is not something that is maintainable.  Despite quickly dropping a bunch of weight and my jeans fitting better, I would have gladly waited longer for better fitting jeans to bypass those days of anxiety.

During those days I managed to focus on my food, specifically counting my calories and tracking my food.  I also made sure that I walked each day and actually doubled my walk, even though I didn't add the strength/cardio that I had originally wanted to add.  Without a doubt being able to keep my calorie count in a good range, aided in the weight loss and gave me something that I could control and focus on.  I knew that I also had to be careful that I didn't become too obsessed with any specific number either counting calories or the number on the scale.

Now that I am post anxiety, I am still counting calories and exercising.  I am sticking to my 21 minute walk, and doing my best to add in another 20+ minutes of cardio/strength. I am still losing weight each day and it is not as dramatic, but it is maintainable.

In four days 20-24 I lost 5.4 lbs.

In thirteen days Jan 20 to Feb 2 I lost 8.6, and that includes a major cheat day with a regressions and catch up.   This wasn't just a downward trend.  I am now on trending towards a more sustainable and healthy loss that will see me losing between 1-2 lbs a week.

I am feeling much better, and I am happy with my progress and my current ability to be kind to myself when I have setbacks and mostly stay on track.  It is very true we manage what we monitor.  I have a love hate relationship with that idea, for me I need to manage my weight which means I need to monitor a lot.

I monitor my weight daily, this may not work for some but it works for me.  I see small daily decreases and it reinforces my resolve because I see the daily evidence that the choices I am making are paying off.  I cannot visibly see the changes yet, despite my jeans feeling more comfortable.  But I will see them eventually.  I will keep striving for progress and not perfection.

If I can maintain a loss of 2lbs a week then in just a hair under 6 months I should be at my target weight.  In a way that seems overwhelming, 6 months!  But at the same time we are in day 326 of "14 days to flatten the curve" so maybe 6 months or 180 days is not so bad after all. :) 

I am going to see if I can actually do this, I will try and if I miss the target by a bit, then I will just keep trying.  The world will not end if it takes me longer than I anticipate.


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