Reaction to Happier Podcast 207 (part 1 Inviting Obliger Rebellion)

I just finished listening to episode 207 of Happier and I had a very visceral reaction to
Listener Question: How can a husband encourage his wife to get on board with a 19 for 2019 list?
And as they described the question (location about 25:11) the gist is that the guy travels "a ton" for work and his wife is handling 3 kids and he wants her on board for decluttering and complete their will.  And he admits that this mostly falls on her.  He also believes his wife to be an obliger.

I don't like to assume malice but my reaction was what an idiot and he is so clueless.  Gretchen rightly pointed out that you cannot create a 19 for 2019 that you want done and hand it off to someone else.  I was talking back to the podcast saying this guy has no clue what the list is for,  this is going to back fire so badly on him.

This is the perspective I am coming from:
  • Wife and mother of 2 kids and I have primary responsibility of the kids because I work from home.
  • I am trying my best to start my own business from home
  • I am the family Goddess in charge of 
    • homework supervision and providing extras needed for school parties, random cereal boxes for projects etc.
    • laundry, 
    • meal planning, meal prep (3x a day), 
    • grocery shopping, 
    • lawn care (seasonal), 
    • birthday planning, 
    • holiday planning, 
    • general family outings, vacation planning, 
    • doctor and dentist planning and driving for myself and 2 kids
  • My husband is extremely appreciative and is vocal in his appreciation for all I do and only occasionally has to work late.
  • I am organized and love lists, but it is over a month after the Epiphany I still have my nativity scene up because something has to give.  And our Christmas decorations are in the spare room rather than the attic but part of that is because it is freaking cold and I don't want my husband to open the attic drop down but I digress.
At the end of the day when my husband gets home I have done a lot (and so has he) and I need to just be alone.  The most traumatic time is from 2:45 to 4:45 which is when I have the kids home, do homework and make dinner, and there are times when I am just done and need to take 20 minutes hiding while he hangs with the kids.  He gladly does this and the dishes too, he is very much supporting me and I feel overwhelmed at times, so I was wondering how much is the Listener's wife taking on?
  • Is she working outside the home in addition to being the primary parent while her husband is traveling?
  • What constitutes a lot of travel, is it 1-2 day trips, week long trips?
  • What else does she do for the family is she caretaker of any family member as well as her immediate family?
  • Are their health concerns for her or the kids that she has to deal with?
I am all for the decluttering believe me I am trying that you should see my office.  My husband and I have been working on it for 2 years now and yes there has been significant progress but something always seems to come up so yeah we are still working on it.   Here is my suggestion for the Listener:
  • DO IT YOURSELF DECLUTTERING it may take longer than you anticipate in fact it will, did I mention it is 2+ years that I have been working on my office? :)  Pick a room and start doing everything you can all on your own.  This was a suggestion from Gretchen and Liz and I highly endorse this.
  •  For the Will - find a DIY will making kit get it start filling things out, and consult your wife if needed and then once you have that ground work you set up an appointment with a lawyer to review the base you have established with the DIY kit and ask your questions and ask the lawyer if there is anything you missed that both you and your wife need to think about.

 I wish the listener the best of luck.

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