Terrible horrible no good very bad day.

They day is not even over and this is one of the worst days ever.  I hate this remote learning situation it is not a good set up for my family.  I get that some kids like it and it works for some families but this absolutely SUCKS.

I have been very happy to hear that one of Padawan's teachers is very upfront about the fact that some of the things they need to do don't make sense but they have to do them anyway.  She has also been open about this not being ideal and that we are all struggling together.

One Padawan needs a lot of help and really responds differently to a teacher in person and than he does to me.  I know he knows this stuff, we are still in the review stage but it he just has a mental block and refuses to do it.  I have spoken with professionals and his behavior is not uncommon and quite frankly I am at the end of my rope and so is he.  He doesn't like it and we are really out of coping mechanisms there is only so much I can do.

I just want everyone out of my house.  I want to be able to go to the bathroom in peace.  I want to stop herding cats.  I want alone time.  I want to stop hearing the incessant chatter of the two little Padawans.  Even when they are just playing it is so draining because I have to pay them a little attention to make sure things are ok and I don't need to intervene, I let them solve most things but there are times the parent has to step in.  I want to be able to complete a thought or project for work without being interrupted.

I really just want to run away and hide.  I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anyone, I just want my bed, books, ice cream, and wine.  I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean.  

I don't want to coordinate schedules any more.  I don't want to feel like I am imposing when I ask Mr. Padawan to supervise the kids because I need to take a meeting.  I want to stop dreading my one standing meeting because when I leave it I then have to pick up the pieces of a stressed Mr. Padawan and little Padawans, and to be honest it just is that much harder to deal with.

I feel so much pressure as an obliger I know I am in the process of rebelling.  This introvert is feeling pressure and the strain, I have made due with 20 minutes of alone time for months on end, and 20 minutes is not cutting it any longer.  I really don't know where I can go for more alone time or from where I will cull the time.  Staying in my room while people are at home is not the answer, I am not alone, my people are still draining me.  I need solitude, even if I am with people but they are strangers they want nothing from me and they don't drain me, but where can I go?  I can't go to the library, I can't go to a restaurant, I hate shopping and to be honest I really don't need anything.

Oh and lets just add this insanity to the day....I received 3 different 'bills' from my dentist.  I use the single quotes because there is no actual invoice number, nor is there an envelope for return payment (I can forgive this) but the most asinine thing is there is no tear off this portion to remit with your payment.  (nor can you pay online). So I called to figure our what the actual total amount due was and asked about this.  Their response was no you can't pay one line, and yeah just send a check nothing else is needed in the envelope.  WTF?  Holy Hell that has trouble written all over it.  I hate people and I hate hate hate idiotic policies.

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