Cranky

I am beyond cranky it is not even funny.  It is not a comfortable feeling, it affects my mood, my ability to make decisions, my reactions to others, my tolerance for what I deem to be stupidity and idiocy, and I feel if physically.

This introvert is cracking today.  My kids have been doing the remote school thing since Dec 15th, which means it has been 21 days (tomorrow).  Yes some of that was Christmas vacation and I did have great time away from them when they had a sleep over, but I think that sleep over is part of the problem.

Let me explain.  When I am overtired and I get my first good night's sleep the next day I am incredibly cranky and irritable, it is like my body is mad that I finally got  good night's sleep and it wants more RIGHT NOW.  My body got a taste of the good stuff and wants more and will be cranky until it gets more.  Being kid free was fantastic, but then things went sideways.  

Mr. Padawan went to get the kids and I was home alone for a blissful few hours and was cranking through the chores, which I didn't mind so much.  I loved the feeling of productivity and it was helping me work of some stress.  It was a glorious...just me and my music cranked.  I didn't have to listen for someone that needed my help, I didn't need to hear bickering, no one was in my space, I didn't have to work around anyone.  My introverted heart was being filled and was excited to get some of the good stuff despite the stress.

 Today has been a spectacular disaster of little proportions. 

1. The family over slept...all of us.
2. One Padawan is having control issues and is being very repetative
3. One Padawan is having difficulty answering direct questions
4. One Padawan is trying to be 'funny' and he really is not he should never try to emulate Big Nate
   
5. One Padawan is bummed because he slept in
6. I am encountering a lot of what I perceive to be stupidity, rote actions that are not applicable to the situation.

I took a walk outside to get 20 minutes by myself.   It helped a bit and was a slightly more calm when I was done.  However, I have been back for an hour and I am ready to run away again.

I need the states to get their act together and roll out this vaccination thing in a more quick and efficient manner because I need everyone to get back to school and the office. It has been 297 days since the first day of school was canceled and we began the "flatten the curve" thing that was supposed to be 14 days.  

297 Days is also:

• 25,660,800 seconds
• 427,680 minutes
• 7128 hours
• 42 weeks and 3 days
• 81.37% of a common year (365 days)

Yeah I need some space. 

I am tired of it all. I am tired of the hypocrisy of everyone (I include myself because lets face it we all are human and we all are a little bit hypocritical at times.  I try not to get too bent out of shape about people flouting the rules unless they are holier than thou about others flouting the rules.) It seems that it is ok if some group decides to flout the rules but not all groups. I am tired of the yardstick changing all the time.  

“When polls said only about half of all Americans would take a vaccine, I was saying herd immunity would take 70 to 75 percent,” Dr. Fauci, who took his first dose of Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine Tuesday, told The Times. “Then, when newer surveys said 60 percent or more would take it, I thought, ‘I can nudge this up a bit,’ so I went to 80, 85. source

 

The media is preaching "science science science" but that quote above is not science.  That is humanity pushing an agenda under the guise of science.  We have been told ad nauseum that Dr. Fauci is Mr.Science and not political and that is quite frankly bullshit.  While I could begrudgingly accept the flip flop on mask or no mask, because I do get it we didn't know a lot about the virus and things could change.  But that quote above, nope that is pure humanity trying to be important and that is so frustrating and why I am far more skeptical about the 'experts' and 'science'.

That statement is the reason why I question 'science' rather than just blindly accepting it.  That statement is the only one we know has been fudged but given that we are human I feel it is a safe bet to assume that there are other statements that are similar. Sure I wear my mask but question the validity of it.  You can go along with the current rules/regulations that are applicable in your own state while still questioning if they are sound.

It makes me wonder if California has the highest mask compliance and yet they have the highest infection rates, really are masks effective?  It doesn't make sense.  

What is right?  What is wrong?  It is so frustrating because we really don't know.  I really want to be able to vent my frustrations at the mix messages, moving goal posts, and insanity that is covid theater without someone pointing fingers saying that I don't believe in science, or that I am a murder (yes some on social media have declared that if you don't fall in lock step quietly you are a murder).

If you want just one example of 'theater' this happened to me today.  I had an energy audit scheduled, it was to happen over zoom, therefore the auditor would not be physically in my home or around me, yet we still had to go over the stupid 'screening' questions, and I was quite tempted to respond that I was Covid positive to see what he would do, but I didn't.  I just kept thinking what is the point of this?  It is stupid.